How Not to be Annoying at a Pool - A Public Service Announcement


This is the single most fucking annoying thing I have to deal with when I’m at work.

First of all, I don’t get the appeal. Not one bit. I don’t understand what is so fucking amusing or fascinating about lying limply face down in a pool staring at the floor. I really don’t. Like, honestly, the pool where I work has OTHER THINGS around that you could be doing that don’t put the fucking lifeguards on edge. Like going on a waterslide, or talking to your friends, or actually swimming, or ANY NUMBER OF THINGS THAT INVOLVE HAVING YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE WATER.

Not only is it impractical, it’s downright fucking dangerous to other people. 

Cause when I see this, I immediately come to the conclusion that the person’s unconscious, face down in the water, which means I have to go and get them out. But, since a lot of fucking douchebags seem to love doing this, I have to hesitate for at least a few seconds before blowing my whistle and going in the water, just to make sure it’s not some tool fucking around. Which could make a serious difference if the person is legitimately in trouble. So there’s that. Also, there’s the possibility that someone somewhere else in the pool might be in legitimate trouble, but I don’t see it because I’m waiting for you to get your sorry ass face out of the fucking water.

You see how this can get tedious and annoying after a while? Yeah, I see some idiot do this every. fucking. day.

Seriously. If you’re looking for something at the bottom of the pool or trying to hold your breath, move around a bit or blow bubbles or something, just to let us know. Or if you’re trying to practice floating, actually do a proper float, not just lie there. 

Because, honestly, I’m a pacifist. But every time I have to wait with my fucking heart in my throat for some douchebag to start breathing again, I am filled with the burning hatred of a thousand desert suns and seized with a desire to punch said toolbag in the face.

Seiously, just don’t do it. 

  1. jillythellama reblogged this from admirely
  2. jessibelle03 reblogged this from resplendent-shininq
  3. resplendent-shininq reblogged this from poco-loki
  4. admirely reblogged this from poco-loki
  5. princesssassafrass reblogged this from poco-loki
  6. wifeofadamlevine reblogged this from poco-loki
  7. callmesadie reblogged this from poco-loki
  8. moderndaykelso reblogged this from poco-loki
  9. mostfamouscolors reblogged this from poco-loki
  10. petrichorpoetry reblogged this from poco-loki
  11. theyvonneee reblogged this from poco-loki and added:
    don’t ever think about it…no stop it.
  12. saddlesarah reblogged this from poco-loki
  13. georgiamorgan123 reblogged this from poco-loki
  14. favoredly reblogged this from lifeguardproblems
  15. animal-hearted reblogged this from poco-loki
  16. dumpyrabbit reblogged this from poco-loki
  17. i-run-therefore-i-am reblogged this from lifeguardproblems
  18. straightintothedawn reblogged this from lifeguardproblems
  19. gwyn123 reblogged this from rhizzzle
  20. rhizzzle reblogged this from lifeguardproblems
  21. iguesswegotlostintranslation reblogged this from lifeguardproblems
  22. daryldixonsguns reblogged this from lifeguardproblems
  23. sarahrahsmiles reblogged this from lifeguardproblems
  24. purrities reblogged this from lifeguarddiaries
  25. sammyt19 reblogged this from lifeguardproblems
  26. littlehandgrenade reblogged this from poco-loki
  27. candaceeeeee reblogged this from lifeguarddiaries
  28. red-he4ded-musings reblogged this from lifeguarddiaries
  29. lifeguarddiaries reblogged this from lifeguardproblems
  30. sloshedsandiegan reblogged this from missing-some-pieces
 For requests to tag a certain show/ship/whatever, please head on over here first. Thanks!